I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. In fact, I was feeling a little blue yesterday too. It has nothing to do with anyone, but myself and how I’ve been showing up in the world lately. It’s a reality that I created and I know exactly what I need to do to change things.
Tonight was the first night of a meditation group that I put together called, Food for Thought. It took me months to get the guts to put things together. I was and still am afraid of putting my idea out there in such a vulnerably exposed way, but I eventually held myself accountable and got it going. The group is donation-based (suggested $10) with all of the money going to charity. This month I decided to support the Denver Rescue Mission in an effort to help feed the homeless. As the facilitator of the group, I began with a talk about the importance of of helping others. We are helping others by training our minds to become more present and conscious of opportunities to reach out and lend a hand when needed. Being compassionate towards our fellow brothers and sisters who are suffering in this world is how we can make effective and long-lasting change.
We sat for 20 minutes and spent another 30 minutes talking about our experience and different things that we struggle with in life. We raised $114 that will feed 218 people a meal. Afterwards, people were talking about other ways to help the community and exchanging numbers. The night went far better than expected. While I was feeling extremely full of gratitude, I still felt a sense of sadness. As I drove home and recapped the night in my head, I began to think about all of the people in this world that are suffering. The truth is, all of us are suffering. In Buddhism, the word Samsara is used to describe this never-ending cycle of suffering. We are all at the mercy of our thoughts and it causes us so much grief. I began to realize that there are tons of other people out there that feel just like me. When I think of them also hurting, it melts my heart into puddle of sympathetic sadness. I ache for them, I ache for you.
This post is for anyone who experienced a shred or a landslide of self-doubt today. This is for anyone who forgot that they were inherently good, that their natural and raw state of their being is love. This post is for anyone who felt guilty about their words or actions, for anyone who’s been letting things slip lately and are seeing the ramifications of that. I experienced all of this today.
For anyone who felt alone, misunderstood, or even hopeless: I see you and I get you. I’ve been there, I am there and I’ll be there again, as will you. Next week, I hope that when we look into each other’s eyes, there’s a transmission of understanding that we see each other in our suffering and we are the same in that way. We are connected in all the ways that we feel different and separate. Don’t forget, this is all temporary. Stay present for this experience, the more inquisitive we get about it, we begin to see its fluid and illusory nature. The impermanence of this moment is the one thing that we can count on. You’re not alone, we’re in this together. This too will pass.