The Best Thing I Ever Did For Myself

A few weeks ago, I was having some issues with my stomach. It concerned me a lot, but it was important to me to try and read my body and fix the problem myself. I cut out all sugar, except for my homemade juices and protein fruit smoothies. I cut coffee, gluten, and dairy (I was already not eating meat and I cut alcohol last year). This was the most drastic change I’d ever made in my diet. This was a BIG deal, I had to change everything including how I looked at food. I’d tried many times in the past to start eating better, but it would last all of five days and I’d be back to eating how I used to: lots of cheese, sugar, lots of sugar, lots of bread. This time around was different though: I was looking at food as a means to repair myself. I was looking at it as something worth really putting some thought and effort into. I don’t know about anyone else, but as I get older, I appreciate my body more than ever. We start to see that we’re not invincible, and when the body is not functioning properly, neither is the mind. We are shut off from a part of ourselves, which causes us to feel a bit disconnected from reality. I wanted my body to function properly, and I was ready to put in the hard work to do it.

The best thing that I ever did for myself was to break my emotional attachment to food and change my diet to a whole food, plant-based diet. This means I only eat fruits, vegetables, legumes (beans, nuts, seeds) and whole grains. I try to eat food that is as close to its natural state as it can be. If you were to tell me six months ago that I would be eating like this, I would have said you were crazy. I feel more amazing than I ever thought I could. Since I’ve changed my diet, I’ve become a sponge for information. I am so alert and so clear that I’m no longer interested in distracting myself with anything other than what’s going on right now. I feel like some space has been cleared up in my mind for me to wholeheartedly engage in the present moment. Social media, television and my cell phone have lost their appeal. Everything that was going badly for me, whether it be in my body or mind, is now good. And everything that was good, is now more good. My sleep situation is astonishingly better. There is no way that I could go back to my old ways of looking at food. I would never intentionally put myself at risk of not feeling this way. My taste buds are adjusting and now I crave all healthy food. This has been one of the most spiritual experiences of my life.  It’s been one of the biggest wake up calls of my life: my mind does not rule me. Wow! My perspective on life has been completely blown apart, I feel like I’m floating on some cosmic cloud of bewilderment. I AM IN CONTROL OF MY WORLD.

When I realized I had turned into a Vegan (it’s still crazy to hear myself say that), I wanted to do more research on what that meant, on a moral level. I want to be very clear about something: you can not watch footage of animals in slaughter houses or dairy farms and NOT question the moral fiber of your being. You can’t see that and not take a good look at yourself and ask if that’s what you want to participate in. On top of the immense suffering that animals are enduring, the livestock industry releases MORE carbon dioxide into the ozone layer than the transportation industry does.

So let me get this straight, I was part of a problem that causes massive suffering to animals (not to mention the workers in the factories) AND is destroying the planet AND I didn’t get it through my thick skull until now? I’d never watched the movies of animals waiting to be slaughtered or milked. I didn’t watch because I didn’t want to know the truth about their shorts lives and what it looked like. How could I not want to know the truth?

I was watching Samsara a couple of months ago and a scene popped up of slaughter and dairy houses. I had no idea that I was going to see it and it shook me to my bones, at that moment I vowed never to eat meat again. I then watched Food Inc, Fast Food Nation, Vegucated, Earthlings and Forks Over Knives (this one really solidified how healthy the vegan diet is and shows strong links between animal protein and cancer and heart disease, a must watch). You guys, we live in a country where there are more than enough non-animal products to get all of our vitamins and minerals from, in particular protein and calcium. I am not interested in pushing anyone in any direction, I want to let people know what is up. I want people to know that they don’t have to drag ass during the daily grind because their diet makes them feel lethargic and unimpressed with life. What you put into your body is EVERYTHING and that becomes more apparent as we become more conscientious of ourselves in this human experience. There is an option to get everything that we need nutritionally by means other than the barbaric and suicidal manner that we’re doing it in. On top of that, we can feel like a brand new version of ourselves. I’ve reached out to other vegans and have found that my experience is shared by many. The energy, the clarity, having an immense appreciation for your body, as you see it rewarding you for putting good things into it– those are things that no one should go without.

Cutting sugar out of my diet, was hard. I found myself getting angry when I wouldn’t let myself have it. That’s how I knew it had a grip on me. Getting rid of the diary wasn’t a problem because what I had seen of the livestock industry (including on organic farms) affected me into the deepest depths of my soul and spirit. I have zero qualms about if I have made the right decision. Livestock are animals, just like my cats, your dogs. Their lives do not have less value because they taste better.

Ask yourself: do you want to know the truth? Or do you want to live your short life with your eyes closed to what is really going on? If you want to know the truth, watch this video. The is real life. This is really happening. This is what we support when we eat animal products. Everyone is talking about raising their consciousness and raising their awareness. RAISE IT. BE LOVE.

A poem to the man I love.

Your absence has opened my eyes to the reality of what you are to me. How can you be so far, yet I’ve never felt closer to you? I feel you in the deepest parts of me. I feel you shining from the center of my soul in every direction, in every color. I feel a constant buzz of excitement as if you had just looked at me that way that you do, that way that completely shatters everything in my field of vision, but you. That way that makes me gasp as if I were to say, “Oh my god, what IS this?!” The way that makes me feel like every ounce of love is expanding from my heart into everyone and everything,

You have taught me how to be the ruler of my own world. You bring a shine of brilliance to every space of my universe, our universe. You see me, not just my exterior, but deeper. You see yourself in me as you pulse through my veins and radiate from my heart. We are on same page, the exact same page, we are that little dot, that little speckle of existence on the exact same page where we are holding hands and making plans. I am you and you are me. We are consciousness intertwined, floating up toward the sky, past the stars, into the heavens, up, out and all around. We are the the space in between, connecting ourselves to each other. I see you in my dreams as I see you when I’m awake. It’s as if you’ve set up shop in both places. I don’t know where one ends and one begins, but I guess it doesn’t matter, I get to be with you and feel connected to us, you, my spiritual twin, the one who makes me feel as if my stomach is glowing with a saturation of unconditional love and the bright, glittering sparkle of bodhicitta.

We have completely stripped down the walls, they crumbled the moment our eyes met. You have seen my world, as if you’ve opened the top of my head and looked inside. You looked at it with a magnifying glass and never questioned how it worked. And for you, I do the same. I see you, I see us fusing together as one, as all, to color the limitlessness of our mind. Your mind. My mind. Us. This. This. This. All of it.